According to Alec

HEAD.HAND.HEART

2009-08-22T19:17:00.003-05:00

So a while back I stumbled upon a quote from St. Francis of Asissi which really struck a chord.

"He who works with his hands is a laborer. He who works with his hands and his head is a craftsman. He who works with his hands and his head and his heart is an artist."

Head. Hand. Heart. These three elements are central to the work of an artist. Yet are they not equally vital to other professions? Although I am partial to the arts, I would venture to say that in order to find fulfillment in any vocation there must be a combination of these essential ingredients.

Just Jump!

2008-08-09T19:11:00.002-05:00

There comes a time in every young man's life...okay, maybe that is a little too cheesy...ah, what the heck!

There comes a time in every young man's life when he must throw caution to the wind and jump from the roof of a skyscraper hoping that his parachute will open an he will in fact not die. This skyscraper may be literal, but quite possibly it is a metaphor for something else. In my case it is a metaphor (as well as a daredevil dream of mine). An honestly the 'skyscraper' is a bit of an exaggeration. A more accurate comparison might be the roof of my old house on Williams Road. Which, I might add with pride, I jumped off of many times. It was only about ten feet off the ground, but it provided quite a rush nonetheless (ten feet to a 10 year old child is roughly equal to 34.56 meters to an adult). And although I may appear to have been insane, that formative experience has taught me many valuable life lessons. Take the following for example:

The Law of Gravity is non-negotiable

Jumping off tall things is fun!

Hitting the ground....not so much fun.

Life is full of risks. Sometimes you've just gotta jump.

Anyway, here I am today on another ledge. Though it may not be physical, it is literal. In order to really see if this art thing is ever going to happen, I've gotta jump. Sure, it is important to plan ahead to minimize the risk of 'injury', but in the end we are all left with a choice; jump or not. That choice makes all the difference.

So, what do I do? Do I peak over the ledge and slowly back away, rationalizing my way out with countless reasonable excuses? Or do I jump? There comes a time in every young man's life...now it is my time.

Autumn's Arrival

2008-08-08T12:07:00.001-05:00

Autumn is almost here! She will be back in the States today!!!

This summer has been long and hot and I have been looking forward to this fall with great anticipation. Not only will the change of seasons bring with it crisp cool weather and nature's warm colors, but it signifies the return of my beloved. As we bade farewell at the beginning of the summer Autumn reminded me to look for the leaves to change colors, because she said, that is when I am coming back to you. Her words sustained me in the months of seperation, giving me something tangible upon which to place my hope. So earlier this week when I noticed the first yellow leaves scattered round the base of a sapling my mind went back to that moment and the thought of seeing her again filled my heart with joy.

Digital Decision

2008-07-20T11:50:00.002-05:00

So here is the deal. I am about to make the first big investment in my art career. Well, let me clarify. I am about to make the first big monetary investment...Acutally that is wrong too.

What I am trying to say, is that I am about to buy a digital camera. And although I'll probably be spending around a grand for it, considering how much I've spent on my education, it really isn't that large of an investment. Kinda funny how money is such a relative concept, isn't it? I mean $1,000.00 is a ton of cash to a young person like myself, not to mention to how just that much would absolutely boggle the mind of a child. When I was 9 years old, a thousand bones would have bought everything my heart desired a million times over...albiet all my little heart desired was some candy (Twix or skittles were ideal).

And then on the other hand, when I am an adult...okay when I start thinking like an adult, 1000 bucks will seem insignificant compared to my annual bill payments. Then there is the whole circumstance thing to consider. Here in Chattanooga, that much cash won't do much, but in an impoverished village it would feed several families for quite some time. Which brings me to where I am right now.

As I sit here writing these words, the idea of spending money on a digital camera seems selfish and calloused. When I consider the people who actually need just a little bit of money to survive another day, any uncharitable use of my money makes me feel guilty. So I must ask myself some hard questions. And in the end my decision is obvious...I will buy the digital camera. Is this wrong? I think not. You may find fault in my logic, and I welcome any opinions or advice you may have. But here is my reasoning:

The Lord has given us all gifts and charged us to be good stewards of them. Those gifts take many forms not the least of which is money. I am called to be wise with all my gifts including the passions and abilities He has graciously bestowed. Since I am confident that I am supposed to be using my gifts to pursue a vocation as an artist, it is wise to pursue that goal while making the most of these gifts I've been given. I envision using art as a tool to communicate in ways the would otherwise be impossible.

The intangible ideas of hope, love, beauty, and the very message of the Gospel cannot be expressed with mere words. Nor can the be fully realized though art, but it is my hope to flesh out these incredible concepts in a deeper way. And then to share that with others. So using the gift of money, I intend to purchase a digital camera which would aid in the development of my career. More specifically I plan to use it to document my work and compile a portfolio. Which I can then use to get commissions and ultimately share my art with other people.

Therefore, although it may seem like an insignificant decision, buying a digital camera truly is the first big investment in my art career.

2008-07-04T15:54:00.003-05:00

So, I just realized it has been an entire year since I last posted on here. Wow, a lot has happened since then! My life in some ways is relatively unchanged and in others vastly different.

As it happens, I am still in Chattanooga, but no longer at Covenant College. I am in the much hyped, ever dreaded, but surprisingly normal 'real world'. The biggest change I can see is in the amount of freedom and responsibility. In college, my whole day was chock full and though not always productive, my days were busy. My freedom was stifled by class schedules and assignment deadlines and my main responsibility was to follow instructions. Now, I have much more freedom with regards to my schedule. That carries with it however the added responsibility of determining what to do and when to do it. In some ways this is a good thing but it also could have some negative effects.

Basically, I am learning to be more conscious of how I use my time. Knowing that I must determine my own schedule, I've had to figure out where I am going in this world and how I plan to get there. Not being one to plan out even one week in advance, I find this task to be rather daunting. It is an exciting place to be nonetheless. The past few months have been a crucial time for me as I attempt to make the transition into "grown-up" territory. I've been seeking a clearer vision for my career and have found a lot of encouragement and support from many different people. One of the most unexpected connections came through my friend Sarah Lester. She has been working at CreateHere since graduating from Covenant and she introduced me to their SpringBoard program which encourages and equips entrepranuers to pursue thier dreams. It was through this program that my passion for art and community seems to have found an outlet.

I am currently finishing up my business plan to open a working artists studio. I don't know how things will turn out, but I am hopeful that the Lord will continue to refine my vision. I am both nervous and excited to see where He is leading and I am glad to have such a supportive crew on this voyage. The Lord truly has surrounded me with some awesome people and it is really cool to be a part of something larger than yourself.

"Grace" by U2

2007-07-04T12:15:00.000-05:00

Grace, she takes the blame
She covers the shame
Removes the stain
It could be her name

Grace, it's the name for a girl
It's also a thought that changed the world
And when she walks on the street
You can hear the strings
Grace finds goodness in everything

Grace, she's got the walk
Not on a ramp or on chalk
She's got the time to talk
She travels outside of karma
She travels outside of karma
When she goes to work
You can hear her strings
Grace finds beauty in everything

Grace, she carries a world on her hips
No champagne flute for her lips
No twirls or skips between her fingertips
She carries a pearl in perfect condition

What once was hurt
What once was friction
What left a mark
No longer stings
Because Grace makes beauty
Out of ugly things

Grace makes beauty out of ugly things

Worldviews in Pop Culture

2007-04-14T01:31:00.000-05:00

The Departed, Blades of Glory, and Blood Diamond...what do these very different movies all have in common?

In my opinion, not much at all.

Besides all three being movies that I recently watched, the only similarity they shared was that they all express a worldview. Obviously any form of art is created from a certain perspective. And after watching these movies I began to notice the stark contrast between their respective worldviews. What motivated the artist to create the film? What message does it convey? Each of these movies seem to be representative of certain trends in hollywood.

To begin with, The Departed is part of the depressing genre of movies that are rooted in an equally depressing worldview. These movies attempt to portray the harsh 'reality' of a broken world spirialing downward in an endless path of destruction. The basic worldview in these movies can be summed up in the latin quote used in the first line of the movie: "Non Serviam". This line has a long history in literature, most notably it was Lucifer's response to God when he rejected Him as Lord. The idea is that it is better to reign in hell than submit in heaven. This worldview is shared by several of the main characters in The Departed, especially Jack Nicholson's character.

Blades of Glory on the other hand caters to a much different crowd. Rather than addressing any of life's serious issues, this movie is purely entertainment. Its purpose is to distract the viewer from reality by making fun of everything, and hopefully to provide a moment of lighthearted fun. While this genre of film can be hilarious I often feel disatisfied with the lack of substance when I reflect on the experience.

Third and finally, there are movies like Blood Diamond. While these movies are often rooted in real life, their view is very different than movies like The Departed. Although they both depict the grim tragedy of reality, their response is much different. The example of Leonardo diCaprio's character is illustrative of the difference in worldviews. In The Departed his character is hard and cynical about life, his only goal is to make a difference in his world. Sadly, this hope fades throughout the movie as he becomes convinced of the pointlessness of life. In Blood Diamond his character is almost identical. He is a jaded man with no real hope, as is evident when he says, "Sometimes I wonder... will God ever forgive us for what we've done to each other? Then I look around and I realize... God left this place a long time ago." Yet through the influence of several characters he begins to see a little bit of goodness and hope in the dark world.

I wonder why respond to certain movies the way I do. What is it that makes me feel happy after some movies and sad after other? Why do I enjoy watching movies like Blood Diamond despite the sickening injustice depicted? And why do I feel dissatisfied by others? I've thought a lot about this, and I think I might have a inkling. To me, it is all about hope. In fact, hope is a really important theme in everything I see and hear. My world revolves around hope and when I see evidence of hope in the world I am attracted to it. To me, hope is vital. Because honestly, the world is a pretty messed up place. In the midst of all this tragedy a little ray of hope is powerful. Hope is a frail thing, a precious thing, it is the one thing that makes life worth living.

Kierkegaard's Last Written Words

2007-03-20T06:04:00.000-05:00

I have nothing more to add. But let me merely say this, which in a way is my life, is to me the content of my life, its fullness, its bliss, its peace and satisfaction. Let me express this, a view of life which comprehends the idea of humanity and human equality: Christianity implies, unconditionally, that every man, every single individual is equally close to God...How close and equally close? Because Loved by Him. Consequently, there is equality, the equality of infinity, between man and man. If there is any distinction, it is that one person bears in mind that he is loved, perhaps day after day, perhaps day after day for seventy years, perhaps with one longing, a longing for eternity so that he can really grasp this thought and go through life with it, concerning himself with the blessed occupation of meditating on how he is loved - and not alas because of his virtue. Another person perhaps does not remember that he is loved, perhaps goes on year after year, day after day, and does not think of his being loved; or perhaps he is glad and grateful to be loved by his wife, by his children, by his friends, by his contemporaries, but he does not think of his being loved by God. Or perhaps he laments not being loved by anyone and does not think of his being loved by God. Infinite divine love; it makes no distinction! But what of human ingratitude? If there is any equality among us men in which we completely resemble each other; it is that not one of us truly thinks about being loved!

- Kierkegaard

Let the Lord Love You

2007-03-19T08:07:00.000-05:00

I cringe every time you cut yourself down,
You hide your pain like it doesn't count.
So when I hear you laugh, are you crying deep inside?
'Cause you fall below the standards in your mind.
Though you'd never deny our God's a loving God,
You feel He turns away when you make mistakes.
But our heavenly Father nurtures his own.
To Him you matter more than you'll ever know

So let the Lord love you
Let His voice be heard above the rest
Hold on o what you know is true
And let the Lord love you.

We may search for truth, but we listen more to lies
Play them over and over in our minds
Till we're left with some distorted point of view
That cripples who we are and all we do.
There are times you gotta fight for all you're worth
Stand up to the voices from the past
And as you draw close to Him the more moments you'll have
When His love overwhelms and you know it's true

That the Lord, He loves you
So let His voice be heard above the rest
Hold on to what you know is true
And let the Lord love you
You gotta let the Lord love you.

-Rory Noland, from the book Heart of the Artist

Spring Break Trip

2007-03-11T02:00:00.000-05:00

So S.B. '07 was totally rockin'. Too much awesomeness to even describe. Just imagine my wildest dreams coming true and then some more awesome just for kicks! I don't even know if 'awesome' is quanitifiable (since I don't understand any math past geometry), but if it is then you wouldn't even be able to count the amount of awesome we had.

First of all, I got to see my freakin' family!!! And yes, they are incredible. When I realized that I might not be able to see them over the break I almost died. Then when it worked out that I could see them I practically cried for joy...okay I did. And then when I got to see them it was utter bliss. Needless to say I got a lot of love in the form of great hugs and kisses. I love my family and I want the world to know it (Aside to family: you guys totally rock my whole face off!)!!!

Second of all, I am going to have to write a book of our adventures in Ft. Lauderdale. In leiu of the book, here is the list of titles from each chapter:

Where does all that toll money go?
They have a tennis court in their back yard?!
300
Speedos and Eurotrunks .... hmmm, gross!!!
We're going to see Miami Heat play, NOT
Stuck in Miami with no gas and useless tickets
The girl on the moped
IHOP at Southbeach: after midnight
Tennis for beginners (Alec can't serve)
Do you still say goodmorning when you wake up in the afternoon?
Brookstone is fun
Tequila Ranch is expensive
We're going bowling, PSYCH
Memorable Quotes vol. I Kellis' cracks on Alec
Memorable Quotes vol. II Alec vs. M.E.: "oh no he didn't!"
Memorable Quotes vol. III M.E. vs. Alec: "the comeback"
Appendix A: More Memorable Quotes

While most of these chapters require an in depth reading, I hope that the summary whets your appetite for some stories. To all those involved, wow.

Lastly, the final night at the Ryan's was so good. We had an amazing dinner of the Ryan's trademark fuzzy chicken (or was it furry?). And then we sat around and played a few enthralling card games. But as the night wound down things got better and better. We ended up sitting around the living room talking about life. We began by voicing some frustrations with our college experience. Personally, I've been struggling with whether I made the right choice in coming to Covenant. Deep in my heart I know that is where I am supposed to be right now, but I've been losing sight of my motivation. Apathy has become one of my darkest foes and I often don't realize we are in a battle until my butt is kicked. The tendency when faced with reoccuring frustration is to throw in the towel. If you know your butt is about to get kicked again, why even bother getting back in the ring? Well, that has been my reasoning recently. Depending on your perspective that can be a very logical choice. If you have nothing for which to fight then it would be wise to save yourself the pain and embarassment. But is there nothing to fight for? Is it pointless to hope?

I have found that it is not hopeless. We have more than hope, we have a promise. In fact, we can boldly stand on the fact that the battle is already won. There is something worth fighting for, worth living for. My life is made meaningful because of Jesus Christ. I have tasted a life without God, a life not worth living. I have been terrified by the thought of a universe so sterile and lifeless, void of purpose, in a word; pointless. I have wrestled with the truth so paradoxical, so mindboggling until I surrendered to its sweetness. I know I'll never fully understand the truth. But, oh it is so beautiful! My worthless soul is loved and valued by God. The King of the universe looks upon me with love. It is the kindess of the Lord leads me to repentance. I will never comprehend how the Lord calls me His beloved. I; the adulterous whoremonger who runs away to seek love in all the wrong places. I; the unfaithful bride who spits in the face of her perfect groom. I; the ever-forgetful lover who questions their Lover's commitment, while never fully trusting Him myself. I am His beloved.

That is enough for me. I will not lose hope. I will not throw in the towel. There is something good worth living for. It is the good news that the world needs to hear. Yes, it is dark out there. In fact it is downright depressing sometimes. And I am just another mess in this debaucle. But, in spite of myself, He loves me. He values my worthless soul. That is what makes this life worthwhile. There is a light of hope that pierces the darkness. And even the deepest darkness cannot overcome it! The message of love gives hope to all who hear. And that gospel is powerful. Though yet a small flame, it grows into an all-consuming fire. Our God is an awesome God.

Mission to Monterrey

2007-02-27T22:37:00.000-05:00

Go check out the blog for our mission trip to Monterrey! I'll be going with the Covenant College soccer team.

http://missiontomonterrey.blogspot.com/

Helpless?

2007-02-18T13:17:00.000-05:00

I love the Sabbath! I am constantly amazed when I see the work of His hand in all the great things, like the cool crisp air and the bright clear sky. Yet I am even more touched by His attention to the seemingly insignificant. I love how the Lord knows exactly what I need to hear.

Today at Rock Creek Fellowship Pastor Eric spoke about helplessness. Interstingly enough, he had prepared an entirely different sermon but decided to give this message instead. The scripture came from Psalm 86, where David cries out to the Lord. Eric pointed out an enlightening paradox. That thing about myself that I most detest is actually one of my greatest strengths. This sounds weird but it is true. It is only when I am helpless that I open my heart to God. That which I detest in myself is what brings me to my Father's feet.

I don't have any trouble seeing my own inadequecy, it is readily apparent. My problem is that instead of allowing my helplessness to drive me to my knees, I fight all the more frantically to stand on my own strength. I realize how dense I am, but I must constantly be reminded to surrender to the Lord. As Eric said, "helplessness spurs on prayer." God places frustrations in my life to impel me to pray.

Now that I understand what is going on, I feel like such a fool. God doesn't call me to be strong and stubborn as I battle. On the contrary, He beckons me to admit my weakness, and rely on Him to fight for me. I've come to realize that the harder I struggle on my own, the worse off I end up. If I can just learn to rely on Him from the start I will forego a lot of heartache.

His Whisper

2007-02-18T01:41:00.000-05:00

Years ago I heard the Lord speak to me. I was prostrated by His glory. The radiance of His holiness was blinding, white hot like the sun. Before the Lord I become keenly aware of how insignificant I was. Everything within me screamed unworthy! You cannot be in the presence of utter holiness without being terrified by your own impurity. I fell on my face and basked in His presence. While I was shouting unworthy, He was whispering that He loved me. I could not understand why He loved me. I was detestable in His sight, yet He embraced me with His love. Oh, the warmth of his presence! To sit upon His lap and be embraced by His mighty arms. To rest my head upon my Father's breast. To be still and know He is God. To rest in His wonderful presence.

I clearly remember Him speaking to my heart. He wanted me to share this love that I had tasted. He had changed me forever when He touched my heart. From that moment I knew I would never be the same. He was calling me to share the gospel to the nations!

Now, I look back on that day. I have grown older and maybe wiser. But I have also wandered away. I have heard His call and turned my back. I have become cynical and jaded. I have hardened my heart, ignoring His still small voice. And every now and then I hear a whisper. It is faint now and almost imperceptible. But He is still calling me. Though I may have given up hope, He has remained faithful. I am still unworthy and He still tells me I am loved. I feel so far from Him and all I want is to come back and rest in His presence.

My Hardening

2007-02-18T00:23:00.000-05:00

I was just reading a prayer newsletter from Voice of the Martyrs. You can receive updates as well if you go to persecution.com and sign-up. Each week I read stories about my brothers and sisters who are suffering and even dying for their faith. Yet I feel so distant from them. I don't know what it is like to be verbally assaulted because of Jesus, much less be physically harmed. And the more I hear about those who are suffering, the more calloused I become. Sometimes I simply delete the newsletter because I do not want to have to think about them. But ignoring their suffering does not make it go away.

What a shame it is that I am able to live in such a state of denial! Honestly, how could anyone go on their merry way when they know what I know. Maybe it is because I am not personally affected by their pain, maybe it is because they are so far away, maybe it is because I choose to harden my heart. The thing that saddens me most is how disconnected I am. I am disconnected from my suffering brothers and sisters, I am disconnected from the dying world, and most of all, I am disconnected from my Savior.

A long time ago, I used to care. I used to ask the Lord to soften my heart. I would pray that I could see the world through my Father's eyes, who looks with compassion upon the nations. I used to say that the deeper one knows God the more empathy they would have for others. I used to care. Now, now I don't give a damn. The only one I care about it me. I walk through my day, follow my schedule, spend time with my friends, and then do my work, and get my sleep. What a miserable waste of life! If only my heart would beat for someone other than myself.

Is it too late for me? Have a followed my own path for too long? Can I find my way back, or am I beyond hope? I don't know. My heart feels very hard and it is getting heavy. I want to be pure again. I want to feel compassion again. I want to give a damn. I want to hear the Lord speak and to feel His presence. I want to obey. I want to have a soft heart that beats as one with my Father. I want to freely follow Him wherever He leads. God I want to live again! I want that passion I once had, that consuming flame of zeal. That pure faith that followed undoubtedly after my Savior.

I've had enough catechism and doctrine to last me a lifetime. I don't want to talk about it anymore, I don't want to theorize about it anymore, I don't want to argue and nitpick about it anymore. I don't care about religion. All the religion in the world never saved a single soul. I want Jesus Christ. I want to know Him. I want to walk beside Him and know His life. I want to know his suffering, I want to know Him in his life, death and resurrection. That is all I care about.

I came to Covenant so that I would be equipped to engage my world for Christ. Maybe I should have just followed my heart. As I look back at the last three years and see where I have come, I wonder if maybe I made the wrong choice. In coming to Covenant I entered a bubble. I became a part of a community that is secluded from the world. My heart withered and my zeal fizzled out. I have felt the spiritual depression weighing heavily on my soul. As I look at our spiritually inbred community I am torn. My heart aches to boldly proclaim the gospel but I fear that it will be ignored as trite. We of all people should get it! In am place where the hope we have in Christ is daily proclaimed, yet I am overwhelmed by a sense of hopelessness. We are the pharisees of this age. We can discuss the ins and outs of the doctrine of election, yet we don't lift a finger to reach out to the lost. We argue all the sides of limited atonement but refrain from sharing about Christ's sacrifice. We philosophize about the paradox between free will and God's sovereignty, while souls are perishing oblivious to the gospel. How did we become so disconnected? How did I get so lost?

Pangs of Hope

2007-02-18T00:18:00.000-05:00

What makes your chest ache? What is it that tugs at your soul so strongly that your body aches? From whence comes the deep yearning for you know not what?

As I journey through this life, every so often I catch a glimpse of something amazing. It is in these times that my heart is gripped and my thoughts are stilled. Although I cannot pinpoint the source of this experience, I know that my soul is yearning. It is as if I have been given a glimpse of the unfathomable. My deepest dreams seem to be blossoming into reality. Just for an instant I do more than wonder, I believe!

The pang of hope which pierces my heart is nearly unbearable. I have tasted the inexpressible and my desire is unleashed. I want more than anything to experience the fullness of this hope. Yet I fear that I am not yet able to stand in the presence of such terrible beauty.

I think it is this deep yearning that C.S. Lewis knew and about which he often alluded:

"If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world."
- Mere Christianity

"It was when I was happiest that I longed most...The sweetest thing in all my life has been the longing...to find the place where all the beauty came from."
-Till we Have Faces

I know this longing. It is strong enough to knock the wind from your chest and gentle enough to lead you to weep. This longing is more real than any earthly desire. It is more true than anything I've ever know. It is this yearning, this hope, which sustains me. It is a cool refreshing drink from the still waters. When my soul is weary and my mind is anxious then the Lord restores my soul with a glimpse of that place. With that pang He renews my hope.

The Significance of Sin

2007-01-05T22:38:00.000-05:00

My sin crucified Christ.

If only I would keep the weight of my sin constantly before me...then will I begin to understand the depth of my savior's sacrifice...and know the gravity of my sin; the devestating effects of my selfish decisions.

My sin crucified Christ.

The Height of Hypocrisy

2007-01-05T22:15:00.000-05:00

Why is it that I can live in sin and feel no remorse? My heart can be so hardened to the pleas of God that I no longer feel ashamed at my sin....and yet I am disgusted when I see sin other's lives. Lord God I am a hypocrite!

In Christ Alone

2006-12-03T10:09:00.000-05:00

In Christ alone my hope is found,
He is my light, my strength, my song;
This Cornerstone, this solid Ground,
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm.
What heights of love, what depths of peace,
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease!
My Comforter, my All in All,
Here in the love of Christ I stand.

In Christ alone! - who took on flesh,
Fullness of God in helpless babe!
This gift of love and righteousness,
Scorned by the ones He came to save:
Till on that cross as Jesus died,
The wrath of God was satisfied –
For every sin on Him was laid;
Here in the death of Christ I live.

There in the ground His body lay,
Light of the world by darkness slain:
Then bursting forth in glorious Day
Up from the grave He rose again!
And as He stands in victory
Sin’s curse has lost its grip on me,
For I am His and He is mine –
Bought with the precious blood of Christ.

No guilt in life, no fear in death,
This is the power of Christ in me;
From life’s first cry to final breath,
Jesus commands my destiny.
No power of hell, no scheme of man,
Can ever pluck me from His hand;
Till He returns or calls me home,
Here in the power of Christ I’ll stand!

recent photo

2006-11-30T04:17:00.000-05:00

Pipe Dreams

2006-11-30T03:25:00.000-05:00

How do you truly live?

What is it that seperates those few from the rest?

Certain rare individuals live great lives. Their stories inspire us to truly live.
When they die, their legacy lives on. The life they lived was worthwhile. They took full advantage of the years they were given. How did they do it? What made them great?

I do not want to live a life of mediocrity. I want this thing to mean something to somebody. I cannot just pass through my years only to look back with regret. I want to make a difference.

But alas, these are but the fading pleas of a whisp of vapor. My dreams will soon fade and I will look back to realize how disillusioned I was with this childish fantasy. Nobody really grows up to be a cowboy. Those childhood dreams are a false hope. Someday I will have to grow up and stop living in my dreamworld. Life is not an adventure, it just seems like that until you become an adult.

Apathy

2006-11-30T03:14:00.000-05:00

My whole life has been a struggle against apathy. This spirit of listlessness has invaded my life on more than one occasion. It comes upon me in a gradual almost indiscernable manner. But before long this virus has run its course. The infection grows exponentially out of control, ravaging my time and stripping the joy out of everything. I am left literally feeling sick and empty. I am nauseated with myself and desperate for something that will sustain.

What a Waste!

2006-11-30T03:05:00.000-05:00

So it is 3:09 AM and I cannot fall asleep. I have not posted in quite and while and a friend of mine just reminded me of this fact. After she pointed this out I realized how whacked out my life has been recently. All the little unimportant things clammoring for my attention have distracted me from the big thing in life. It struck me that these past few weeks have been largely a disappointment. There were moments of sunshine, but for the most part I have frittered away my time and energy. The result is that I feel physically, emotionally, spiritually exhausted and yet I've accomplished nothing. Do you ever feel like you are steadily progressing down a path you've promised you'ed never follow? Well, that is a little bit of where I am right now.

Dr. Jones

2006-08-30T10:57:00.000-05:00

We just heard a lecture from Dr. Jones....no, it wasn't Sean Connery or Harrison Ford.

It was Dr. Peter Jones from Liverpool. He spoke on Neo-Paganism and it totally gripped me. He addressed the tidal wave of gnostic thought that is looming under the radar. Sadly, most Christians are either too fearful or ignorant to respond. I confess that while I understood the gist of Dr. Jones lecture I myself am unable to engage in this debate.

After the lecture I spoke with Dr. Jones about how we can engage the world. He said our job is two-fold. First it is to point out the idea of "Monism", that all is one and one is all. Once they understand this, we can share the truth that all is not one. Rather, all is two. Our job as believers is not to be nice and preach in a way that doesn't offend anyone. Quite the contrary, we are called to boldly proclaim the Truth. The gospel is message is offensive and we must not expect to be welcomed by the world. Our job is simply to be like Christ and proclaim the gospel no matter the cost.

Scots Soccer has Started

2006-08-28T11:17:00.001-05:00

We had our first regular season game yesterday. We played at home against Taccoa Falls which is another christian college. I was really excited and kinda nervous all morning but when the game started the atmosphere was incredible. The whole stadium was packed and the fans were all doing crazy chants and singing along to the bagpipes and drumline who played Scotland the Brave. The Ghetto guys led most of the chants and cheers, but some of my friends from Maclellan painted A L E C W A L L E R across their chests. They came in whooping and hollering and kept cheering me on the whole game. I was really embarassed when I first saw them, but it was pretty funny too.

We were leading by a goal at the end of the first half; David Stair got the first one. Then two minutes into the second half Zach Terrell scored another goal to put us up 2-0. Then in a span of ten minutes Taccoa Falls scored two goals to tie it up. We didn't give up instead we kept attacking. Our third goal was actually kinda weird. Jeremy DeWaters made a great save and then booted the ball over the defense creating a one-on-one with me and their keeper. The last time we collided their keeper got hurt and almost had to be substituted, and I guess that is why he messed up this time. Anyway, it looked like he was going to get the ball but I kept running straight at him at full speed. He got there first but he wiffed the ball and it rolled past him towards my right. I had to lunge out to get my foot on the ball, but as a fell to the ground I saw the ball rolling into the side-netting. I just sat there on the ground and enjoyed the moment. The fans were going wild and my teammates were all running towards me. It was incredible.

After that goal we had many more opportunities to score and Zach got another goal just to seal the victory. Our next game will be at Reindhart this coming Tuesday.

Then Nathan Said...

2006-08-06T12:27:00.000-05:00

So I'm back in Tally for one week before I head back up to Nooga. Being from a family of 9 I am most comfortable when I am surrounded by confusion. And I guess when there is tons of craziness it just feels like home. I love it when everyone is at home. Usually the older kids are trying to figure out what to do, who to hang out with or where to go. Meanwhile the little kids are trying to get anyone's attention by shadowing them around the house with their neverending questions about why the sky is blue, when will they get to do big kid stuff, and how come nobody is listening. In the midst of this blur is Mom who solves all the life-and-death dilemas. And right before she reaches her wit's end Dad shows up to save the day by giving the everyone just what the need, a little attention and affirmation.
Anyway, my first meal with the family since I got back was just like old times. We just sat down down for lunch and everyone was fighting over the last bite of pizza. Naturally Nathan's pleas were drowned out by Joshua and I who where having a dibs war (which I should have won by the way). Nathan's pleas quckily turned into his trademark whine. Of course we all jumped on his case and...I forget what happens next. I sat down to type up this really funny story, but now I've forgotten the punch line. If you remember what happened, or can this of a funny ending then just post it as a comment.

What's War Worth?

2006-07-22T11:40:00.000-05:00

Whoa! I just got an e-mail telling me that another one of my friends is joining the military. Matt has a lot of courage to join the Marines right now. I've actually thought about joining the military, but I lean more towards the Navy. Ever since I watched Black Hawk Down I've had second thoughts about being in the infantry. Not only are you in more danger, but the realities of war are staring you down face-to-face. I guess that thrill is appealing to a young man. I remember when I used to play war growing up; I'd always imagine myself as the valiant hero fighting against the forces of evil. Always vastly outnumbered I would courageously attack the neverending stream of enemies until with my last ounce of strength I would achieve victory. But things change. Now when I imagine myself in war I see the terror of death. And that same terror that leaves my mouth cotton dry is reflected in the petrified eyes of my enemy. The truthg is, I've never been in a war. In fact, I've never ever really been in a fight. But I know what happens there and I know that what happens in war changes you. And perhaps the thought of how war will change me is more terrifying than the battle itself. Both my grandfathers served in the Navy; one in a fighter jet and another in a submarine. Each returned with haunting memories. Grandpa Waller was haunted by the memories of his best friends, his fellow fighter pilots. They flew out together but only he returned. Would he survive the next mission? Would ever be the same if he did? Grandpa Miller faced the same questions and more when his sub dove past the point of no return evading torpedos. The terror of being trapped in an iron grave miles below the surface and life is not something easy to forget. They both survived the wars. But they were forever changed. Their legacy leaves me with pentrating questions. Do I have the courage to fight for what I believe? Are justice, freedom and peace worth dying for? I desprately want to answer in resounding affirmation. But the other questions haunt me: How badly will war affect me? In the end, are the changes I fight for more important than the changes in me? Surely I would risk my life for what I believe in, but would I risk my sanity? These are the questions that every warrior must face, but the answers are what haunts them.

Where does the breeze blow?

2006-05-30T00:20:00.000-05:00

So my summer is taking an unexpected turn. I had planned on staying in Tallahassee all summer. I was trying to start a soccer camp for kids called Killearn Kicks, but it fell through. Today I found that I will be leaving rather abruptly...tomorrow actually. While I am really excited about going up to Chattanooga and working with my cousin John all summer, I have not really had a chance to process everything.

Until today I thought that I would have some more time to spend with my family and friends. All the really sweet memories that I'd planned on making suddenly vanished! No more soccer in the backyard with Natedog, Hope, Joy and Josh. No more afternoon runs with my dad around the Maclay Gardens trails. No more hugs from my mom and grandma (arguably the best huggers in North America, if not the world). No movies or lunch with Grace. No more chillaxin' at Kenley's crib. No more tricks off the Wakulla Springs high dive with everyone. No more riding motorcycles with Bryan. Just like that, my summer plans changed completely.

And although I will terribly miss being home with everyone, it is not all sad. Bittersweet would be the word. I bitterly regret seeing all those would-be memories disappear. Yet I eagerly look forward to a really sweet time in Chatty with John. We are gonna have a really solid summer. I can't wait to be up in Chattanooga, it is going to be awesome. It is kinda funny how things work out. My plans can change just like to breeze, and like the breeze I really have no control of my circumstances. The only thing that I can do is enjoy where I am and make the most of it. I guess that is one thing I'll take away from this whole thing. Maybe next time I'll just enjoy the breeze as it brushes my checks and ruffles my hair instead of worrying myself as I try to determine where it will blow.

As I was just going through some boxes that I had not yet unpacked since getting home I found my notebook from last year. It brought back some great memories also bittersweet. This past year has been one with both the indescribable joys that make your insides ache from sheer excitement and the anguish that leave you hopeless with no words to explain or express the pain. And sometime during the last year I found a quote which grasped me so powerfully that I wrote it down. It is from canto II of Dante's Divine Comedy:

As flowerlets drooped and puckered on the night
turn up to the returning sun and spread
their petals wide on his new warmth and light --
just so my wilted spirits rose again
and such a heat of zeal surged through my veins
that I was born anew.

Memories from the Match: Arsenal v Barcelona

2006-05-20T02:51:00.000-05:00

Thanks to my awesome cousins Elise and Shalom Cohen, I was able to watch the most important match in professional soccer, the UEFA Champions Leauge Final. I was especially excited this year because my childhood favorites, the Arsenal Gunners would be taking on Ronaldinho and Co. of Barcelona. The match was incredible as both teams rose to the occasion and put on a dazzling show of skill. The first half was truly crazy as Arsenal keeper Jens Lehmann was ejected for an apparent foul on Eto'o. Yet amazingly the Gunners pulled ahead off of a free kick goal from Sol Campbell. In the end, fate frowned upon my Gunners as Barcelona came back from behind to win with two late goals. Although things didn't turn out as I'd hoped, the match did leave me with many indelible memories.

In the heat of the match there was an image that epitomized the game for me. This brief moment occured as Ronaldinho was attempting to weave his way through Arsenal's defence. After evading two tackles he was abruptly stopped by none other than Thierry Henry. The imposing Frenchman stood on the ball and looked down at Ronaldinho whose sliding effort had landed him on his knees staring upwards. The split second exchange between these incredible athletes conveyed an enourmous amount of mutual respect and admiration. Sadly, after searching through thousands of photos from the game I could not find a single image of this moment.

Summer Plans

2006-05-15T01:15:00.000-05:00

It is 2:16 AM right now and I just put the following ideas down on paper...or on Microsoft Word to be exact. I do not know whether or not these thoughts appear lucid, but whatever the case here there are:

Since I’ll be living somewhat independently (in the Student Apartments) next semester it would be beneficial to prepare myself this summer. There are several things I need to learn. First, I need to learn how to maintain a normal lifestyle. This would include areas such as cooking, cleaning and upkeep. To be more specific, I need to teach myself to shop for food and other essentials, to keep my stuff in good condition, and to be prepared to maintain and repair my stuff. Another way I need to learn to maintain a healthy lifestyle is in the area of my daily routine. In order to become a functional adult I need be disciplined enough to follow a schedule, to establish good habits, and seek to improve myself. More specifically, I would like to wake up early, spend time with God, eat breakfast, do any chores and prepare for the days activities, eat lunch, accomplish the day’s tasks, eat dinner, spend time with the family, spend time reflecting on the day, and go to be early. While the details of the schedule will obviously change, I would like to maintain this same basic structure. Besides getting in the habit of following my schedule, I would like to establish some other habits this summer. I would like to start the habit of spending time in the Word each morning. I would like to spend time exercising during the day. I would like to spend some time each day building a relationship. Besides accomplishing these goals, I also have some more tangible goals for this summer. I need to work and raise at least five thousand dollars. I need to continue to create art (sculpt two full-size busts, draw and muse in my notebook weekly). I need to prepare for next soccer season (follow the strength and fitness programs, play soccer regularly). I would like to use the shed as a project: clean and fix it, then turn it into an art studio/personal space. Besides these tangible goals, I would also like to gain a clearer understanding of what my goals are for the next year, five years, and ten years. Then I would like to find a way to accomplish these goals. Hopefully by developing a deeper understanding of my purposes I will gain a clearer vision for my life. While all this may seem too obvious, these are things that I have yet to do. I would like to become more mature this summer rather than continue to digress. I realize that my plan is likely be changed, refined, or either altogether scrapped. And yet I have decided to approach it with firm resolve and determination.

Alec on Age

2006-04-25T02:15:00.000-05:00

They're young...kids these days are young!

Yes, I did utter this idiotic statement during the long drive back to Covenant after a relaxing weekend with the Ghetto boys. We'd been stuck behind this car full of what appeared to be middle schoolers, the oldest of which was driving (he could not have been a day over 13). One of them decides to break the ice by giving her seatmate a lapdance while the rest of them looked back at us and waited for a response. Not to be outdone I decided to give them something to think about. As we passed them I shared my immense rear with them...yes it was unclothed and in all its glory. After we stopped laughing our faces off I continued to make a fool of myself by uttering the above statement. In retrospect my statement could just as easily have been used to describe my level of maturity. I may be getting old but I still pride myself in my ability to appear young.

PETA Propoganda

2006-04-24T13:35:00.000-05:00

Today my buddy Elliot gave me some sweet stickers. This is the one that I liked. Although I do not support PETA, I found the sticker to be pretty funny.

My bright new sticker was proudly affixed to my left breast pocket and stayed there until a few minutes ago. An astonishing revlation caused me to yank the afrementioned sticker off of my body with an authoritative flourish! The revelation is as follows:

PETA KILLS ANIMALS!!! I learned of PETA's overwhelming hypocrisy from a website by the Center for Consumer Freedom. You can read about this incredibly ironic situation more at their website. They cite an official report from the State of Virgina which show that PETA kills 90% of the animals they recieve! Maybe it is just me, but I find this to be pretty sad. This institution which speaks so loudly their words of condemnation, commits the very act they supposedly are fighting against. I surely do not want my tax dollars going to such a hypocritical organization. What do you think?

Role of a Christian Artist

2006-03-30T21:17:00.000-05:00

I just finished reading, Christianity and the Arts, from theOoze.com. The writer, Brian Thomas, in describing the current state of confusion within the arts uses the following quote from Gene Veith:

Just as the current intellectual establishment has lost its conceptual basis for truth, the artistic establishment has lost its conceptual basis for beauty. A Christian view of the arts can supply both.

Being an artist in our postmodern-minded generation can be tough. As Thomas points out in his article, our culture no longer has any concept of beauty. While I will admit that the term is rather ambiguous, I also hold that some art is inherently beautiful. Even a young child can recognize beauty when it is before them.

My professor, Kayb Carpenter, explained one of her first aesthetic experiences; seeing Winged Victory (Nike of Samothrace). She was exploring the Lourve in Paris and upon rounding a corner she was literally left breathless as the sight before her. The sculpture stands at the top of a long staircase and Kayb stood motionless for several minutes just in awe of the beautiful work of art.

If beauty can be so obvious even to a young child, why do some artist and critics try to make it so difficult?

Grandpa's Shoes

2006-03-27T22:09:00.000-05:00

Grandpa's Shoes by Jessica Everett

100 Years???

2006-03-15T23:22:00.000-05:00

So, I was just talking with Ryan Chico about life and love and happiness. He is a senior on the Ghetto and is about to embark on another leg of his journey. I've always been encouraged by his friendship and enlightened by his perspective. While I am sure he will miss the college life, Ryan is really looking forward to the future.
This got me thinking about life and how we only live for a short time. One day you blink and you find yourself sitting on the porch with your wife, watching the grandchildren play in the yard. As I write this, my heart cannot help but ache. I wonder what it is like to be there, looking back over your life and knowing that you only have a few more years to share with those you love. I ache to be back at my grandpa's house, riding on his tractor trails, exploring the woods with my cousins. We would play all afternoon and then have a huge family dinner with all the aunts and uncles, cousins and siblings. And there sitting at the table would be my grandpa just taking it all in, and loving every minute of it.
My grandpa has gone away to heaven, and I do miss him dearly. While I know he tresured his time with us, I know that he is even happier there. Sometimes it is hard for me to think of him because I miss him so bad. But he is still with me, deep inside my soul his memory lives. And what a beautiful memory that is. Of all that my grandpa left behind, the most important thing was his legacy. He will always be remembered as the loving, compassionate grandpa who would light up when we came for a visit. His family was the joy of his life and as one of his grandchildren I will never forget how much he absolutely treasured every moment we were there.
The fond memories carry me through the heartache and make me wonder what kind of grandpa I will be. But I still have a life to live. My childhood is over, and my youth is coming to a close, but I can only live today. So I live, with every breath. With every moment I live. The words of Five for Fighting's song 100 years ring in my ears as I finish writing this post.

The sun is getting high
We're moving on...
I'm 99 for a moment
Dying for just another moment
And I'm just dreaming
Counting the ways to where you are
15 there's still time for you
22 I feel her too
33 you’re on your way
Every day's a new day...
15 there's still time for you
Time to buy and time to choose
Hey 15, there's never a wish better than this
When you only got 100 years to live

Morton's Muse on Message

2006-03-12T13:28:00.000-05:00

I was reading an article about my professor and fellow artist, Jeffrey Morton. He is one of the wisest people I've been around. While he is hesitant to put his ideas out in the open, I am always intrigued when he does. It was in this article that I discovered another of the simple yet profound ideas that motivate him in his calling as an artist.

As an artist, I don't want to be dogmatic; I just want to point and say, "Hey, look at that."

Clearly, the message any work of art conveys is a vital element of that piece. But as a young artist, I have never given much thought to the message of my work. Professor Morton points out how important the tone of voice in the message.
Does my art speak with a dogmatic tone, or do I simply point things out and leave the thinking the viewer? My art speaks...what does it say?

Manly Men and Their Manly Games

2006-03-11T21:01:00.000-05:00

So, I went camping at St. Andrews beach in Panama City for two days over Spring Break. (I didn't go by myself, because I've never been able to be alone for more than a few minutes) And now that you how wimpy I am, let me tell you about how my ruggedly masculine adventures. I went camping in the company of three manly men; Bryan Everett, Kenley Stringer, and David Kuder. Being the man menly we are, we made the 1.5 hour drive in just barely 4 hours by getting lost. Once at the campground we decided to rough it...we only ate fast food twice. The other two meals, polish sausage and cereal, we cooked from scratch over a roaring fire. Besides being reckless adventurers, we did other masculine things. Like working on our tans, flexing a lot while playing volleyball, and smiling at the ladies. However our masculinity reached its apex during a brief momment of testosterone induced stupidity.

Let me walk you through the glorious event. Picture yourself at the beach, the skimboards and football no longer seem interesting and the waves are pathetic. You are left with two things; the beach and two frisbees. Although that sounds like three things, it is not (I am counting both frisbees as one item). Playing catch with frisbees is the first option...however there is a much more appealing and entertaining option available if you mix a little imagination with the original ingredients...

Recipe for Disaster by Alec Waller
Ingredients:
frisbees
shins and ankles
beach sand
Instructions:
1. Mark off small playing area on beach sand
2. Place frisbees within playing area
3. Repeatedly drill one everyone else in the shins and ankles with aforementioned frisbees
4. In the meantime, attempt to protect your shins by any means necessary
5. Accumulate masculinity by playing through the pain
6. Achieve manliest man status by being the last one standing...literally

That is what we did. It was very manly and fun...I think. So, how did you spend your Spring Break?

Think?

2006-03-11T15:18:00.000-05:00

In his Contribution to the Critique of Hegel's Philosophy of Right, Karl Marx called religion the "opium of the people". However in our age of technology, there seems to be a new 'drug' of choice. TheOoze.com has an article by Johann Christoph Arnold titled Opium of the People? which points out the current abuse of technology:

Today the Internet is the drug that cures all ills. But we forget too quickly the old saying that "not everything that glitters is gold." The Internet has become our god, our idol, which we now worship instead of God. Yet we have never been lonelier or more isolated from other human beings.

While one of my professors refers to television as the opiate of the masses, I think that for our generation, the Internet is more deserving of that title. While this powerful tool has to capability to effect much good, it is terrifying to see how destructive it can be. Besides stealing our most precious commodity, time, there are numerous other negative consequences when the Internet is abused. As Arnold pointed out, our generation is filled with lonley souls starving to death in their dungeons of isolation. We are isolated not only from others, but also from ourselves.
You know exactly what I am talking about. After a long, busy day of school or work you just want to relax for a few minutes. You stretch out in front of your computer and just start to browse the Internet. You might chat with some buddies for a while or listen to your favorite iTunes, maybe you just look for an interesting web site. A few hours later you look at the clock, surprised to see how much time has passed. You sit there in disappointment, wishing you had done something worthwhile with your day.
Is that where it ends? Do you stop there, or do you allow you mind to wander a little farther? Has your mind been so dulled by this "opium" that you never think past that point of frustration? Or maybe like me, you silence that voice. All that now remains is the faint whisper, barely audible but still asking those piercing questions. "What are you doing with your life? How much time will you fritter away? What about your relationships? Why not spend some time with your friends, or maybe even your family? When is the last time you spent some time alone, you know, just you and God? You wonder why you haven't heard his voice, maybe you haven't really even listened."
"STOP!!! No, don't give me that crap!", your mind is made up. You'll never face those questions. You'll just continue to ignore them, those irritating questions that bug you whenever you stop and think...think, hmm that is an interesting idea. What if you think? Not too long or too hard at first, just a little thinking. Eventually you can think for longer and about harder questions. But for now, just work on stopping and thinking. You can do it anytime, anywhere. Some people call it daydreaming, others like the term "using your imagination". I like both, it really does seem like the same thing when you think about it...think about it....hmmm, now that's an idea!

Corruption of Sudanese Officials

2006-02-23T00:45:00.000-05:00

REUTERS

...the expert panel said it found "widespread violations of international humanitarian law on the part of all parties to the Darfur conflict -- Sudanese government officials, rebel leaders and leaders of the Arab militias the government relies on as proxy fighters."

Sudan's Corrupt President Omar al-Bashir

"All parties, to varying degrees, have committed torture, outrages upon personal dignity and cruel, inhumane or degrading treatment against those who are not, or are no longer, participating in the conflict," the report said.

Sleepless in Sudan

2006-02-23T00:13:00.000-05:00

http://sleeplessinsudan.blogspot.com/....an uncensored eyewitness account of Sudan.

Angry at Apathy

2006-02-22T20:32:00.000-05:00

...I HATE APATHY...

Sarah Wiragu's Valentine

2006-02-13T11:04:00.000-05:00

You won't believe it, but I already found out who Sarah Wirgau's valentine will be this year. You would never believe it, but pictures don't lie so....

Invisible Children

2006-02-11T12:39:00.000-05:00

The atrocities continue in Sudan. Here is the eyewitness account. I warn you that this film will pierce you soul and you will never forget what you see. If you want to know what is happening in Sudan, then watch the Invisible Children.

Our Response to Sudan

2006-02-11T12:35:00.000-05:00

After hearing of the recent events and being convicted of my duty to those suffering I have committed to two things. First, I will make sure that I am aware of the situation by examining the news from Sudan (sadly, news from the Sudan is not proportionate to the severity of the crisis). Second, I will use this information to take action.

I hope that we can discuss our duty in a constructive manner. If you would like to join me, here are several actions that we can take:

SPEAK: Become a voice for the victims by speaking out at the grassroots level (i.e. bring up the situation in conversation, e-mail our Senators and the President and push for aid to be sent...you get the idea)
PRAY: Beseech the Lord for His mercy, salvation, and peace to come to the victims in Sudan.
REMEMBER: Look back at the genocides of history and remember the outrage you had towards the inaction of those who could have prevented the atrocities. We are responsible for those in the Sudan, our inaction will directly result in the continued destruction.
GIVE: Find a agency and give our time, effort, and money.
GO: If the Lord is calling you to be a light in the midst of this dark time, then be obedient and go.

My heart beats with fervor and I pray that others would join with me to take action. The Lord has an incredible plan for the situation in Sudan and we are have a duty to be involved. Faith is belief which ignites a heart to action. I urge you all to examine your faith along with me. Do we truly believe or are these simply words….

Sudan?!

2006-02-11T12:27:00.000-05:00

I was thinking about how we enjoy a comfortable life at Covenant and wondering what it would be like to have to live or die for your faith…literally.

Well, I just heard about the situation in Sudan and how it is about to get a lot worse. The only organization besides the ineffective UN that physically stood up against the ethnic cleansing (African Union) will likely step aside once the new chairmanship goes to Sudan (the only candidate running for this position is from Sudan; which supports the human rights abuses).

If you doubt the gravity of this situation then please read to the follow except from the International Humanist and Ethical Union [emphasis mine]:

Recently, the Secretary-General’s Special Representative for Sudan, Jan Pronk, declared: “Looking back at three years of killings and cleansing in Darfur, we must admit that our peace strategy so far has failed. All we did was picking up the pieces and muddling through, doing too little too late.” (13 Jan. UN website). And UN High Commissioner for Refugees, Antonio Guterres, commented a day before that Darfur represents “the most pressing political and humanitarian problem we have in Africa today.” (Reuters, 12 Jan.) And on the very day this 4th session began, he was again quoted by Reuters as saying: “In my opinion, Darfur is the most dangerous crisis point in Africa and in the world in general,” adding that the “deteriorating situation in [Darfur] threatens [African] regional stability.” (Reuters, 17 Jan.)

Clearly, the situation in Sudan threatens the world of which we are all global citizens. Yet how quick I am to ignore the atrocities committed unless the directly affect me. I continue to be convicted of the apathy I have towards those who are in the midst of such turmoil. Why doesn't such an outrage lead me to action? What is my duty in a situation like this? I urge you all to seriously consider these questions with me!

I am often unruffled by cold hard facts, but the following excerpt from USNews really grabbed my attention:

While the world has taken intermittent notice, the crisis is unrelenting. More than 180,000 people have been killed by Khartoum's proxy Arab militias, and more than 2 million civilians--mostly black, Muslim farmers--have been pushed from their villages and land into camps where they live at the opposing mercies of aid workers and gunmen. More than two years of diplomatic efforts--plus an African Union peacekeeping force of 7,000 for an area the size of France--was supposed to have provided an interim cease-fire, but that has been elusive.
The situation in Sudan is wrong. The United States government doesn't seem to be involved. The UN tries to skirt around the issue without really making an effort to help. In transcript of the recent AWE discussions by the Intergovernmental Working Group on the effective implementation of the Durban Declaration and Programme of Action, we hear the chairman [Ambassador Juan Martabit (Chile)] laughing while trying to silence Mr. Littman who was representative of the UN General Assembly, the Security Council, the Commission on Human Rights!

This leads to the obvious conclusion that EVERYONE IS IGNORING THE CRISIS IN THE SUDAN!!! How can this be happening?! Please do not ignore the plea of the millions whose lives have been destroyed and the countless others the will suffer if nothing is done. I beg of you to listen to their blood cry out from the earth. The outrage God felt when Cain murdered Abel is compounded exponentially. If we truly desire to be like Christ, should we not also have compassion on the helpless?! Should our hearts not also be broken as the Father watches countless souls perish? I speak on behalf of those who are dying and have died and those who will die if nothing is done…

I beseech you in the name of Jesus Christ for whom you stand, will you continue to ignore our voice, plugging your ears to shut out the screams of those who are being murdered right now!? If you have faith in your God, the one who saves, then why is your faith not visible? I hear you speak of the Lord's salvation, but I am not convinced of your 'faith' which is dead. If you truly believe, your faith will be evident in what you do!

I leave you with that, whether you choose to do nothing or do something, you must make a choice! What will you DO?!

Sudan

2006-02-09T01:49:00.000-05:00

Sudan is on my hear right now.

invisiblechildren.com

2006-02-07T23:38:00.000-05:00

England's Football Style

Sudan: Send Salvation!

2006-02-05T17:07:00.000-05:00

I was thinking about how I enjoy a comfortable life at Covenant and wondering what it would be like to have to live or die for my faith…literally.
Well, I just heard about the situation in Sudan and how it is about to get a lot worse. The only organization besides the ineffective UN that physically stood up against the ethnic cleansing (African Union) will likely step aside once the new chairmanship goes to Sudan (the only canidate running for this position is from Sudan; which supports the human rights abuses).
If you doubt the gravity of this situation then please read to the follow except from http://www.iheu.org/node/1903 [emphasis mine]:
Recently, the Secretary-General’s Special Representative for Sudan, Jan Pronk, declared: "Looking back at three years of killings and cleansing in Darfur, we must admit that our peace strategy so far has failed. All we did was picking up the pieces and muddling through, doing too little too late." (13 Jan. UN website). And UN High Commissioner for Refugees, Antonio Guterres, commented a day before that Darfur represents "the most pressing political and humanitarian problem we have in Africa today." (Reuters, 12 Jan.) And on the very day this 4th session began, he was again quoted by Reuters as saying: "In my opinion, Darfur is the most dangerous crisis point in Africa and in the world in general," adding that the "deteriorating situation in [Darfur] threatens [African] regional stability." (Reuters, 17 Jan.)
Clearly, the situation in Sudan threatens the world of which we are all global citizens. Yet how quick I am to ignore the atrocities committed unless the directly affect me. I continue to be convicted of the apathy I have towards those who are in the midst of such turmoil. Why doesn't such an outrage lead me to action? What is my duty in a situation like this? I urge you all to seriously consider these questions with me!
I am often unruffled by cold hard facts, but the following excerpt from USNews [http://www.usnews.com/usnews/news/articles/060213/13darfur.htm] really grabbed my attention:

While the world has taken intermittent notice, the crisis is unrelenting. More than 180,000 people have been killed by Khartoum's proxy Arab militias, and more than 2 million civilians--mostly black, Muslim farmers--have been pushed from their villages and land into camps where they live at the opposing mercies of aid workers and gunmen. More than two years of diplomatic efforts--plus an African Union peacekeeping force of 7,000 for an area the size of France--was supposed to have provided an interim cease-fire, but that has been elusive.
The situation in Sudan is wrong. The United States government doesn't seem to be involved. The UN tries to skirt around the issue without really making an effort to help. In transcript of the recent AWE discussions by the Intergovernmental Working Group on the effective implementation of the Durban Declaration and Programme of Action, we hear the chairman [Ambassador Juan Martabit (Chile)] laughing while trying to silence Mr. Littman who was representative of the UN General Assembly, the Security Council, the Commission on Human Rights!
This leads to the obvious conclusion that EVERYONE IS IGNORING THE CRISIS IN THE SUDAN!!! How can this be happening?! Please do not ignore the plea of the millions whose lives have been destoryed and the countless others the will suffer if nothing is done. I beg of you to listen to their blood cry out from the earth. The outrage God felt when Cain murdered Abel is compounded expontentially. If we truly desire to be like Christ, should we not also have compassion on the helpless?! Should our hearts not also be broken as the Father watches countless souls perish? I speak on behalf of those who are dying and have died and those who will die if nothing is done…

I beseech you in the name of Jesus Christ for whom you stand, will you continue to ignore our voice, plugging your ears to shut out the screams of those who are being murdered right now!? If you have faith in your God, the one who saves, then why is your faith not visible? I hear you speak of the Lord's salvation, but I am not convinced of your 'faith' which is dead. If you truly believe, your
faith will be evident in what you do!

Frond Fond, I Am Not

2005-08-03T22:52:00.000-05:00

I hate fronds! You know, those large green spikey natural fibers that grow on palm trees. Yeah those, I hate them.
Last night I was on a nice stroll with Kamel, Wendy, Afro-bro, and Davey (translated: Katie, Linda, Josh, and David). We had just embarked on a journey to Albertsons in order to secure a movie with which to entertain ourselves. About 5 minutes into our trek I noticed several very appealing, freshly cut palm fronds lying on the side of the road. Naturally, I proceeded to challenge Afro-bro to a duel. We both chose a suitable weapons (eight foot long palm fronds) and proceeded to attack one another. Using my superior height, weight, width, length advantages I was able to parry all of my opponent's thrusts and volleys. This however proved to be my undoing. As I merrily gloated over my swordfighting skills I somehow managed to plunge my saber into the tender spot behind my right knee...deeply plunge my saber into the extremely tender spot behind my right knee. My initial jubilation abruptly turned into some pitiful writhing spasms. Afro-bro was delighted at this turn of events and began his own victory celebration above my now crippled body. My numerous attempts to regain an upright status were anything but sucessful and I have spent the past day trying to walk like a normal human being...fate has not allowed this. A visit to the physician confirmed that the puncture wound would not be fatal (alas, not even a glorious warrior's death) but painful and slow to heal. On that cheerful note, I am now going to retire for the evening (I am also officially retiring from frond fighting).

Checked Out

2005-07-22T23:52:00.000-05:00

I check people out. Each and every day, I check out people. Some of the checking out is for my job (Besides working for USDA ARS, I also work at a Publix supermarket where I checkout customers). But, some of the checking out I do is not for my job. Sometimes, I "check out" women with shapely bodies. I do not mean that I only glance their physical attributes. Rather, I gaze upon them with lust. It is wrong for me to do that. I am not only filling my mind with impure thoughts, I am also disrespecting the women, and sinning against God. I have realized this for a long time. Yet, I have continually justified my lust in order to satisfy my sickening appetite (In a pathetically ironic way, this appetite is insatiable: the more I devour the more I desire). I had ignored my conscience for so long that I ceased to feel remorse over my lustful thoughts. What I never realized until now, was how the women feel when they are the victim of my lust.
Near the end of my shift at Publix, I was counting down my cash register. One of my friends told me that for the last several minutes someone had been checking me out. As it turns out, one of the customers who regularly comes through my line had been looking me up and down for about a whole minute while I was counting out the money. At first I felt awkward and a little uneasy, though taking pride in the fact that someone thought me attractive. But when I was told more, everything changed. The customer who had been eyeing me with a queer smile was another male! I felt so violated; I felt ashamed and disgusted that I had been the object of his sexual desire. While I had done nothing wrong, I felt filthy and defiled inside and out. The rest of my evening was miserable. I was literally sick to my stomach out of shame and embarassment. It was then that I realized how severely I've wounded so many women. I was violated once by one man, but women deal with the same thing innumerable times each day. As I realized this, I was broken with the sickening realization of how I have sinned against so many women; stripping them of their true beauty only to manipulate their flesh in my mind. It would be impossible for me to restore all the damage. I can only apologize for what I've done and strive to treat all woman with the respect and honor they deserve. If I have looked upon you with lust, I am truly sorry. It was wrong of me to violate you in such a way. Please forgive me for the shame and hurt I have caused. I pray that every time I am tempted to lust after a woman that I would remember how is feels to be an object of desire.

Mud, Mud, Mud...

2005-07-20T16:49:00.000-05:00

I work for the USDA ARS. Most of my time is spent working out in the field. With all the rain we've been having lately, the field has been transformed into a glorious mud puddle. So after playing in the mud all day, my mommy made me take a bath...ewww gross! As I was sitting in the tub enjoying my natural mud pack, I had an epiphany (Which leads me to another subject altogether; why is it that every great idea comes to me while I am in the shower?). Anyway, it dawned on my why little children's skin looks so healthy...it is because they play in the mud.

Children love to get dirty and play in the mud,
Children have smooth, soft skin

Connection? On the other hand, adults do not play in the mud, and they have wrinkles and dry skin. Well, there you go. If you want to look beautiful and young, play in the mud more often.

Finding Neverland

2005-07-15T23:30:00.000-05:00

So my dad rented a movie...that usually doesn't turn out very good. It was so bad in fact that we brought it back to Movie Gallery and then let us have a different movie. We settled on Finding Neverland. It is a great film that takes you right into the imagination of the author of Peter Pan. The story follows his life and the relationship he has with a widow and her four sons, who are the inspiration for his masterpiece. The story is very intimate, even poignantly personal at times. I wholeheartedly recommend that you take an evening and indulge in this fantastical story that is based on actual events.

What is Your Greatest Fear?

2005-07-13T22:39:00.000-05:00

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us."

"We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you."

"We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we're liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

- Marianne Williamson, A Return To Love

Happy Birthday to Me!

2005-07-12T23:12:00.000-05:00

So, yeah, I am no longer a teenager. That makes me sad.

So far only one person has wished me a happy birthday. If your name is Sarah Wirgau, you rock.

(This is my longest post to date)

The Beginning of the End

2005-07-10T18:14:00.000-05:00

This is my inaugural post.